


I'm a Wreck What I Love Most

by PepperSoniRoni



Series: Batfam Whumptober 2020 [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Jason Todd Whump, Panic Attacks, Restraints, Whump, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26762305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PepperSoniRoni/pseuds/PepperSoniRoni
Summary: No. 1: WAKING UP RESTRAINED | SHACKLED | HangingJason wakes up restrained in the med bay of the bat cave after a major pit-rampage. He panics and it takes Bruce rushing in to calm him down.
Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne
Series: Batfam Whumptober 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1950187
Comments: 11
Kudos: 246
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	I'm a Wreck What I Love Most

**Author's Note:**

> This is kinda soft? I just couldn't NOT put comfort at the end. It's really my first time writing anything whumpy/angsty, so bear with me.
> 
> Title from Polaroid, By Imagine Dragons
> 
> TW: Panic attacks, referenced self harm

Jason tensed as he gained consciousness. He hadn’t remembered falling asleep, and in his business, that was bad news.

Jason sucked in a breath as he tried to raise a hand to his face. He opened his eyes and looked around. He was tied down to a medical bed in the cave’s med bay. They had used the heavy-duty restraints, the ones that were only pulled out there was a serious safety risk.

Jason’s mouth went dry as he imagined the implications. He was a security risk, so much so that no one was in the room. Not Alfred, not Dick, not Bruce, no one. Whatever happened had been serious.

Jason blinked several times and his breathing grew erratic. Why had they tied him up? Bruce promised he wouldn’t lock his son away again - PROMISED. Had Jason gone too far? Who had he hurt? Not Tim again, they were fine now. No one else had ever actually bothered him that mu - oh no.

Jason’s began to sweat, his chest clenching as he stopped straining to remember what had happened. Jason let out a choked sob as the images flashed before him.

*****

_ The League had come to Gotham, Ra’s leading it with Talia at his side. So of course everyone was called in. _

_ They had taken down the agents preparing for whatever the f*** the old guy had planned, and were in the middle of a confrontation. _

*****

Jason tried to calm his breathing, only to grow with panic. No, no, no, no. 

*****

_ Ra’s had sent Talia in first, along with several of his assassins. Everyone got their turn to take down a league member, and it was going well. Then Jason had decided he wanted to take down the woman that had both saved, and ruined his life. _

_ He ignored Bruce’s command to let him take care of Talia and attacked. They quickly disarmed each other and moved on to hand-to-hand combat. The demon’s daughter tried once or twice to pull a knife move on him, but Jasonw as lucky enough to have heard Duke’s sudden warnings. _

_ Eventually, he pinned her to the top of the roof. Most of the fighting had stopped, and everyone was helping each other take care of the ninjas, except Bruce. _

_ “How does it feel to lose yet again, Talia?” Jason had asked. _

_ “Red Hood,” Bruce said as he approached the pair, “that’s enough.” _

_ Talia smirked. “Why don’t I tell you how it feels?” _

_ “ _ Jason _ ,” Bruce said in warning, “let her go.” _

_ Jason ignored him, which turned out to be a horrific mistake. When Talia leaned up and whispered in his ear, Jason’s eyes widened beneath his helmet. He fell backwards, scooching away from the woman. _

_ “Little Wing?”  _

_ Jason wrapped his arms around his helmet at the sound of his older brother. He shook his head, trying to shake off the emotions stabbing at his control.  _

No _ , he thought,  _ I can’t let Talia win _. _

_ Jason couldn’t breath, and began to scratch at his helmet, clumsy fingers struggling to rip it off. But when he did, he flung it across the roof. _

_ “Jason?” Bruce asked, ignoring the retreating Al Ghuls. _

_ “Enjoy your fun, Beloved.” Talia called from the helicopter she had just boarded. “He’s going to tear you apart.” _

_ “No,” Jason muttered, tearing at his hair and face. His mask came off a moment later, and his scalp screamed at him, but he couldn’t care less. He somehow found himself on his knees, and looked up to find everyone staring at him. _

_ The crowd was too much. The noises of the city were too much. The rage was too much. _

_ “NO!” Jason yelled, his breathing becoming ragged. He lifted his head up to look at his family, eyes wide. For a moment, he couldn’t see anything beyond sickly green. “Stay back!” But he knew it was too late. _

_ He stood up, stumbling backwards. He couldn’t hear anything anymore, beyond the great rushing of the pit. The roar filled his ears as he tried to look away from the other bats. _

_ He tried, oh boy did he try. But it wasn’t enough. The moment someone came into his vision, he lashed out. There were sudden yells as Jason blindly struck the person before him. The person was small, so he where he would otherwise have struck the gut, he hit the shoulder instead. Only one person was that small: Damian. _

_ Jason could only watch in horror as his little brother spun and landed against the roof. Hard. He wanted to cry at the pool of blood forming beside the now prone body, but the pit would n’t let him. The red fuelled his rampage, causing him to lash out at the next nearest person: Bruce. _

_ Once upon a time Jason wouldn’t have bothered to restrain himself, would've been elated at the development of events. But this time he couldn’t. This time all that filled the sliver of sanity left in Jason Todd was a cold twisting in his gut.  _

No _ , he thought pathetically as arms grabbed him, as broken fragments of conversation - it’s the pit! Hold him down! Talia! Triggered! Rage! Hold on! _

No…

*****

Jason gasped and yanked on the restraints, trying to forget how everyone had crowded on him. Except for Damian. How someone had managed to tranq him. 

He’d lashed out at his family.

He’d let the pit take over.

He’d let Talia get to him.

He’d killed his brother.

Jason whimpered and sunk down onto the bed, suddenly nauseous. He’d … he’d really done it. This was it. No way Bruce could ever forgive him after this. They’d already lost Damian once, and this time Jason was responsible?

“Damian,” Jason whispered softly, in between ragged breaths. He tried to swallow, but shouldn’t. It was too dry.

Jason shook, the room seeming to close in on him. He pulled on the restraints, suddenly aware of how tight they were. Almost as bad as in Arkham.

Oh no.

Arkham.

Jason blinked, trying to calm the rising panic. Bruce … Bruce had promised not to send him back. But, after he killed Damian? Proved that he has always been unstable? It was now a distinct possibility.

“No,” he muttered, “Please no. I can’t go back. Don’t send me back.” His vision blurred, and the silence of the room became stifling. “I’m sorry,” he cried, like it would do any good, “I’m so sorry. Sorry. Sorry …”

Jason shook his head and blinked away tears as he continued to mutter. He couldn’t think straight. Every spot of logical reasoning had left him. Some part of him knew this. Not that it mattered.

“Chum?”

Jason looked over his shoulder to find Bruce standing in the entrance. He wore civilian clothes - sweatpants and a t-shirt - and looked insanely tired.

“I’m sorry!” Jason began his chant again, the sight of his father renewing panic in him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m -”

“Hey, It’s alright,” Bruce cut in, rushing forward to sit on the chair beside Jason’s bed.

Jason shook his head, unbelieving. “No, no I’m sorry!” He hunched his shoulders, trying to make himself smaller. It was what he had done when he was small, and first came to the manor. He hadn’t felt this vulnerable in years.

Bruce seemed to get this. “Jay, it’s alright. You’re safe.”

Jason shook his head vigorously. “No,  _ you’re _ not. I can’t - You shouldn’t - I’ll just -” Jason let out a dry heave of a sob and squeezed his eyes shut. His hands shook in the restraints, irritating the already growing bruises. Suddenly, there was a hand in his own.

“Jason, look at me,” Bruce said calmly, patiently. Jason took a shaking breath before slowly turning to look at his father. “Hey, chum, it’s alright. No one blames you. Talia - whatever Talia said was purposeful, there to hurt you. You had no control over it.”

“But I could’ve stopped the pit, I _ let _ it get to me.” Why didn’t he get it? Jason was the problem here. He was the one who’d make the … mistake.

Bruce frowned, his eyes soft. A small part of Jason was surprised - he hadn’t seen Bruce look at him like that for a very long time. It was calming, he had to admit. “You held it off for as long as you could,” Bruce said calmly, “Besides, you did warn us. We just didn’t listen.”

Suddenly, the slowly calming emotions flared back up again. “Damian.” Jason out, eyes wide. “Oh no. no, no, no.”

“Jason,” Bruce said, grabbing his face, “breath. Damian’s alright.”

Jason blinked. “What? No, I saw -”

“He’s fine, just upstairs resting.” Bruce interjected promptly. “He was trying to draw your attention away, said that's what happened whenever his mom flared up. Just underestimated your strength.”

Jason frowned. “But I  _ saw _ him-” Jason hiccuped. 

Bruce smiled softly. “He just reopened some stitches on his soldier. A minor concussion from the fall, but Alfred says he’ll be alright with some bed rest.”

“He’s alright?” Jason asked, still shaking and not quite believing Bruce’s words.

“He’s alright.” Bruce confirmed.

Jason collapsed back onto the bed, the twisting in his restraints slowing down. He closed his eyes and breathed.

“The kid’s okay,” Jason whispered to himself. 

A few moments later, Bruce spoke again. “Think I can take these off now?”

Jason opened his eyes and looked over to where Bruce was gesturing to the restraints. He tensed, staring up at Bruce. “I thought they were for you?” He asked, more than stated.

Bruce frowned. “No, no of course not. When we brought you in, you had started to wake up again. ‘Kept scratching yourself, and pulling out your hair.” Bruce paused to make sure Jason was looking him in the eye. “These were to protect  _ you  _ from  _ yourself. _ ”

Jason took a few moments to breathe. “Okay,” He said at last, “You can take them off.”

Bruce promptly reached forward and undid the restraints on both his wrists and ankles. He took a moment to gently rub the abused skin of his wrists before setting them down.

“Are you alright?” Bruce asked, moving back to his chair.

Jason paused to consider. “Ish?”

Bruce chuckled - honest to gosh chuckled! “I’ll take that, he said, leaning forward to press a kiss to Jason’s forehead.

Maybe it was tiredness. Maybe it had to do with released inhibitions from the pit. Maybe general emotional instability. Or maybe he just darn wanted to. Whatever the reason, Jason reached his arms up and wrapped them around Bruce. The man quickly reciprocated, keeping his son securely in the hug.

“Thanks, dad.” Jason said, and smiled.

They remained there for a while, neither really speaking. Slowly, Jason closed his eyes once more. This time, it wasn’t out of panic, or fear. He was just tired, and honestly, Bruce was a great hugger when he wanted to be.

Later, he’ll check on Damian (bring the kid Cheese Vikings or something. Maybe a new cat?), and both thank and berate him for his actions. He’ll go to Kate and Selina, Dick, Tim, and Steph, Duke and Cass, and Harper. Check on them, and apologize. 

But for now?

Now, Jason thinks he’ll sleep.

  
  



End file.
